I've been thinking about all those birthday people out there.

Just in case you were wondering what to do for your loved one's birthday, may I suggest that you NOT hire a man to write a song about them, write it on a rubber chicken, and go to their place of work to sing said song like a schizophrenic hobo who has been spending a few too many nights sleeping under an overpass sniffing exhaust fumes? Because these types of things tend to go poorly. Which is why I am still thinking about it, oh, 13 YEARS LATER.
Well, hypothetically speaking, of course.
I wonder what ever happened to that rubber chicken ...